Some stories never get old and are often reimagined. Even though I’ve seen dozens of versions of the Camelot story (Disney’s Sword in the Stone or NBC’s 1998 miniseries come to mind), the modern story telling in 2009’s ‘Merlin’ brings a fresh perspective to the story, giving the Arthurian legend the WB Smallville treatment, complete with buff teen heroes and vivacious damsels. NBC lured key demographics by premiering new Harry Potter previews during the show’s Sunday, June 21st debut. The ploy worked.
Filmed at a gorgeous Napoleon-commissioned Medieval style castle in France, Merlin is a retelling of the classic Camelot tale with updates that speak to a younger audience. Prince Arthur is not yet the noble king of legend. As a teen his is the arrogant quarterback character, the spoiled Prince who bullies the peasants. In short, he’s Lex Luthor to Merlin’s Clark Kent. However, Merlin is tasked by the last living dragon to shepherd Arthur into manhood, helping to form him into the once and future king. Merlin is reticent to accept the task but the dragon relentlessly affirms that helping Arthur become a noble king is Merlin’s destiny. Only the dragon and court physician Gaius know Merlin’s secret– that he has special powers. Merlin, like Clark Kent and Harry Potter when away from Hogwart’s, must keep his powers secret because King Uthur banned magic in the kingdom twenty years prior. Uther slew all the dragons as well, save one, which he inexplicably chained in a cavern beneath the castle, a perfect place from which to dispense cryptic advice to novice Merlin.
The series is a British import that originally aired last year on the BBC. Newcomers Colin Morgan, Bradley James, Katie McGrath and Angel Coulby provide the teen cast constituents. Anthony Head plays King Uther. Buffy fans will remember Head as Niles, Buffy’s mentor in the Joss Whedon series. John Hurt provides the voice of the dragon. He will reprise his role of Mr. Ollivander the wand merchant in ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows.’
The thirteen episode series explores many of the same themes as ‘Smallville’ and Harry Potter: teen angst, girl troubles, competition with others and the constant threat of death. Having seen only the first two episodes which NBC aired back-to-back, I am filled with hope that the series will be as great as it can be. Even if it’s only good, that’s better than most shows on air today. In a summer utterly bereft of interesting television, this update of Arthurian lore is a welcome addition. Catch new episodes Sundays through the summer on NBC or anytime at NBC.com
Monday, June 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
City Gardening- June 24, 2009
The showers that deluged us in the spring have clearly subsided but the intermittent thunderstorms that speckle Summer afternoons have successfully supplanted them. Unfortunately heat indexes over one hundred tend to wilt unwatered gardens. Depending on occasional showers to do my job for me has met with withered results.
I’m completely to blame, not Mother Nature. During the spring I could forget to water my garden for a day or two with little consequence because it rained daily. But now the rain comes once in a blue moon and is not substantial enough to alleviate the wilting heat of the beginning of an oppressive Georgia in July. I thought I was too busy to spend the five minutes necessary to sustain my green dependants. I didn’t water them at all over the Father’s Day weekend. Two days of neglect have rendered my city garden on the verge of collapse. Luckily plants are more resilient than man. Though they are in intensive care now, with daily watering they may all spring fully back to life. None of the peppers have produced yet and my neglect hit them hardest of all, but I hold hope for the jalepeños.
The potted plants took the greatest punishment. Luckily most of the veggies in the ground survived the two 115° days with little damage. My corn formed kernels on stubby two foot stalks– needless to say they were underwatered, but being a fast grower corn requires substantial watering when grown in a garden box.
So far my attempts at city gardening have met with significant setbacks but I remain unperturbed. After all, this is my first attempt at replicating the gardens I grew up with, those idyllic days when we had tomatoes, onions, blueberries, pears, black berries, potatoes, peas and beans in a backyard garden on a lot out in the country. With a busy Valdosta lifestyle a six by six box in front of my apartment is the best I can do. Even if my efforts meet with less than moderate success this year I will at least know better what not to do next year– namely, not to neglect my garden!
I’m completely to blame, not Mother Nature. During the spring I could forget to water my garden for a day or two with little consequence because it rained daily. But now the rain comes once in a blue moon and is not substantial enough to alleviate the wilting heat of the beginning of an oppressive Georgia in July. I thought I was too busy to spend the five minutes necessary to sustain my green dependants. I didn’t water them at all over the Father’s Day weekend. Two days of neglect have rendered my city garden on the verge of collapse. Luckily plants are more resilient than man. Though they are in intensive care now, with daily watering they may all spring fully back to life. None of the peppers have produced yet and my neglect hit them hardest of all, but I hold hope for the jalepeños.
The potted plants took the greatest punishment. Luckily most of the veggies in the ground survived the two 115° days with little damage. My corn formed kernels on stubby two foot stalks– needless to say they were underwatered, but being a fast grower corn requires substantial watering when grown in a garden box.
So far my attempts at city gardening have met with significant setbacks but I remain unperturbed. After all, this is my first attempt at replicating the gardens I grew up with, those idyllic days when we had tomatoes, onions, blueberries, pears, black berries, potatoes, peas and beans in a backyard garden on a lot out in the country. With a busy Valdosta lifestyle a six by six box in front of my apartment is the best I can do. Even if my efforts meet with less than moderate success this year I will at least know better what not to do next year– namely, not to neglect my garden!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Wolfman's Lament
Hombre Lobo: 12 Songs of Desire
The Eels (Vagrant Records, 2009)
Never let it be said that facial hair can’t inspire music. If ZZ Top went clean-shaved no doubt they’d feel silly singing the same songs. Mark Oliver Everett, known on stage as the band Eels’, is back, sporting a ZZ Top beard and a new wolf-man persona. After a five year absence from the studio, Hombre Lobo: 12 Songs of Desire adopts the persona of a lusty, swaggering werewolf, carrying a cane and prowling the night.
"I was working on some other music," Everett says in a recent NPR interview, "and I looked in the mirror one morning and I saw this werewolf staring back at me. And I thought, 'You know, this beard doesn't really suit the music I'm working on currently. I should cut it off.' And then, at the last minute, it occurred to me, 'Well, why don't I just make some music that suits the beard, and I'll keep it.' "
Where previous works showcased Everett’s softer side, the wolfman character allows him to project a cockiness unheard in much of his material. Album opener "Prizefighter" and the single "Fresh Blood" epitomize this sentiment. In many ways, he says, the album marks a tonal shift away from the intimate songs of 2004's Blinking Lights and Other Revelations, but makes up for that with its palpable desire and raw animality.
"It occurred to me that something that seems to be kind of lacking in so-called indie rock these days is an element of sex and danger," Everett says. "And I just thought, 'Isn't that where the term rock 'n' roll came from?' Let's howl after some girls now and then.”
It is only when he drops the act and reveals his insecurities that the wolfman becomes a real person. "The Look You Give That Guy" shows the pale flesh and human heart underneath the sharp fangs and slick fur of the big bad wolf ."I look at the songs as kind of sales pitches from this character who's trying to convince the object of his desire that he's the man," he adds. "And he takes different approaches, like he kind of loses his cool and lets his passions take over. And other times, he takes a more tender approach.”
Thirteen years later, Eels sounds as energetic as ever. A confidence that only comes with maturity paired with Everett’s stripped-down sound shows that werewolves, besides being predators, are essentially outsiders looking for love and acceptance.
Watch more AOL Music videos on AOL Video
Thursday, June 11, 2009
City Gardening
Now that the typhoon season has passed and all the torrential afternoons are behind us I hope my garden finally gets it’s act together and gets a job, err, I mean, grows some veggies. A few months ago I adopted a small garden in front of my apartment. After one failed attempt- how was I to know that plants need regular attention?- my second venture has met with moderate success. I’ve harvested three tomatoes and a paltry sum of beans. But I am not deterred: one benefit, perhaps the only benefit, of Georgia’s weather is the long growing season.
The cucumbers and squash are showing such potential. They weathered the weeks of waterlogging resiliently and even bloomed in spite of it. Unfortunately, I am not smarter than an insect. Some unknown pest has chewed most of the orange blossoms off my various gourds, gunning them down before their prime. A few bright blooms remain– they’ll produce fruit, even if I have to pitch a tent garden side to personally defend them from their diminutive attackers.
None of the many watermelon patches I’ve tried to grow have done diddly squat. By planting them in the back yard, which has limited sunlight, instead of in the garden proper I knew I was handicapping them. Unfortunately vines tend to takeover their area, kind of like large families at the beach. If I had enough room, I would give the squash, cucumbers and watermelons their own hills, but space being limited as it is I’ll make do. A city garden is not perfect, but it’s better than nothing. As for the beans I’ve harvested, some I gave to a friend and some I put in a pork stew. Another handful will be ready in a few weeks. Anyone want to trade for a cow?
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tigers Love Pepper. They Hate Cinnamon.
Every summer at least one comedy enters into pop culture so quickly and completely that everyone, even your nitty-gritty grandma, quotes it. Everyone does at least one Borat impersonation saying “Very nice. How much?” or Ricky Bobby saying “Shake and Bake”. Everyone knows one liners from The Forty Year Old Virgin and any Seth Rogan/ Judd Apatow flick. Unless Sasha Baron Cohen’s Bruno trumps it, The Hangover is the comedy to quote this season.
Writing partners– does that sound gay?– Co-writers Jon Lucas and Scott Moore penned five films before this feature, the first in 2001. By comparison, since 2001 Judd Apatow has written ninety five screenplays, seven Broadway musicals and narrated two children’s books. In some cases quality counts over quantity.
One key ingredient to a quotable comedy is the correct cast. Justin Bartha plays Doug the groom-to-be. I try not to hold having been in Gigli against Bartha. Ed Helms is Doug’s friend Stu, a dentist who plans to get engaged to his girlfriend after three years.. Why is it that former Daily Show correspondents always get nerd roles? Bradley Cooper takes the handsome, wise cracking leading man torch from Bea Arthur’s cold dead hands. Heather Graham, in typically type casting, plays a stripper, this time without rollerskates. For a zany sidekick, who better than off kilter comedian Zack Galafianakis. He’ll be the most quoted because he gets all the outrageous lines.
The bro’s take Doug to Vegas for his bachelor party. It starts off as usual, binge drinking and naked ladies. But in a ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?’ twist they wake up the next morning with no memory of the night before. Doug is missing, there’s a tiger in the bathroom and a baby in the closet. They begin to follow a trail of elaborate clues to find their missing friend and figure out what happened the night before. I can relate– I’m such an alcoholic that I have to check my bank account the next day to discover how much I spent at the bar, but I never woke to a tiger in my house. A cougar, once, yes, but no tigers.
Someone should call the cops on Mike Tyson, because he stole every scene he was in. There is nothing more precious than listening to that girly-voiced psychopath sing “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins. Other notable cameos include Daily Show correspondent Rob Riggle as a cop and Ken Jeong (King Argotron in 2008’s ‘Role Models’) as a Chinese mafia boss, not to be confused with the Chopstick Mafia.
Jeffrey Tambor has the first good one-liner of the film, as Father-In-Law to be Sid Garner: Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.
Another good one is Zack Galafianakis as Alan. Stu is talking about giving his grandmother’s wedding band to a stripper:
Stu: She’s wearing my grandmother’s Holocaust ring.
Alan: I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.
Strippers, mobsters, tigers, babies, an homage to Rain Man– this bachelor party has everything fun about Vegas. It’s a great start to a funny summer. You’ll be quoting it til ‘Bruno’ and ‘Year One’ come out. Rated R, 96 minutes.
Writing partners– does that sound gay?– Co-writers Jon Lucas and Scott Moore penned five films before this feature, the first in 2001. By comparison, since 2001 Judd Apatow has written ninety five screenplays, seven Broadway musicals and narrated two children’s books. In some cases quality counts over quantity.
One key ingredient to a quotable comedy is the correct cast. Justin Bartha plays Doug the groom-to-be. I try not to hold having been in Gigli against Bartha. Ed Helms is Doug’s friend Stu, a dentist who plans to get engaged to his girlfriend after three years.. Why is it that former Daily Show correspondents always get nerd roles? Bradley Cooper takes the handsome, wise cracking leading man torch from Bea Arthur’s cold dead hands. Heather Graham, in typically type casting, plays a stripper, this time without rollerskates. For a zany sidekick, who better than off kilter comedian Zack Galafianakis. He’ll be the most quoted because he gets all the outrageous lines.
The bro’s take Doug to Vegas for his bachelor party. It starts off as usual, binge drinking and naked ladies. But in a ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?’ twist they wake up the next morning with no memory of the night before. Doug is missing, there’s a tiger in the bathroom and a baby in the closet. They begin to follow a trail of elaborate clues to find their missing friend and figure out what happened the night before. I can relate– I’m such an alcoholic that I have to check my bank account the next day to discover how much I spent at the bar, but I never woke to a tiger in my house. A cougar, once, yes, but no tigers.
Someone should call the cops on Mike Tyson, because he stole every scene he was in. There is nothing more precious than listening to that girly-voiced psychopath sing “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins. Other notable cameos include Daily Show correspondent Rob Riggle as a cop and Ken Jeong (King Argotron in 2008’s ‘Role Models’) as a Chinese mafia boss, not to be confused with the Chopstick Mafia.
Jeffrey Tambor has the first good one-liner of the film, as Father-In-Law to be Sid Garner: Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.
Another good one is Zack Galafianakis as Alan. Stu is talking about giving his grandmother’s wedding band to a stripper:
Stu: She’s wearing my grandmother’s Holocaust ring.
Alan: I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.
Strippers, mobsters, tigers, babies, an homage to Rain Man– this bachelor party has everything fun about Vegas. It’s a great start to a funny summer. You’ll be quoting it til ‘Bruno’ and ‘Year One’ come out. Rated R, 96 minutes.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Childhood Cartoons: The Movie
As a true sign that originality is dead, Hollywood is repackaging my favorite childhood cartoons into live action movies. My demographic, passively misogynistic males between the ages of eighteen and thirty five, eat up nostalgia like its morning-after pills at a brothel– we just fix ourselves a big bowl of it, top it with some 2 % milk and eat nostalgia for breakfast. Maybe we’re disillusioned with reality– Generation X has witnessed tremendous social unrest– race riots after Rodney King’s verdict, the whole O.J. ordeal (both times), Scrubs being cancelled, then sold and uncancelled, then cancelled again but picked up for another season without Zack Braff, begging the question, “What’s the point in that?”. We’ve seen so much social upheaval that it’s natural for us to think fondly of our childhoods. But nostalgia, like uncontrolled flatulence, gets worse the older you get. Like accidental farting, I enjoy seeing cherished memories from my childhood reimagined as cinematic megahits.
I’ve seen not less than eleventy-four films based on cartoons I grew up with. I’ll not mention the lousy ones, except to say that ‘TMNT’, a 2007 CG-remake of a live action 1990 film, was more gratuitous than Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan in a beaver-flashing contest. The first good cartoon-to-live-action remake was Scooby Doo, a clever take on the classic stoner show. Scooby is not technically from my childhood– the show originated decades earlier. After forty years, twelve television series and dozens of direct-to-video movies the franchise is still alive. Even though he has been collecting social security since the Reagan Administration, Casey Kasem still does Scooby’s voice. (I hope I didn’t jinx old Casey. I’d feel terrible if he died soon. I wouldn’t care if he died later, so long as it’s at least a few issues from now.)
Really the first good live action movie based on a cartoon from the eighties, other than ‘Masters of the Universe’, is ‘Transformers’. It opened the flood gates and lured so many pasty white boys to the theaters that a sequel was in production before filming ended. It only grossed $700 Million, a measly sum compared to it’s Hasbro toy line, the true origin of the franchise, which has earned eighty gajillion dollars since coming to the states from Japan in 1984.
The next Hasbro toy from the eighties to premier as a live action movie will be 'G. I. Joe'. I hope Samuel L. Jackson is in it and I hope he says, “I’m tired of these motherf!cking cobras on this motherf!cking tank!” Or jeep, or chopper or whatever vehicle they let him drive. Also, I hope they include Sgt. Slaughter and that Hulk Hogan body slams him in the big fight scene.
I’d like to make movies based on my favorite eighties cartoons. I’d make the coolest, most ‘BA' movie ever, because I’m so awesome and all. But audiences are jaded like me– again, because of the whole O.J. thing and 9/11. So another movie based on an eighties cartoon isn’t gonna wow anyone. I'll combine a few shows into one amalgamated movie.
I'd take the Thundercats. Remember, their planet is exploding (Superman, anyone?) so they have to escape on a spaceship to find a new planet. Let’s say they land on Earth, and discover a set of five rings, each with a different colored stone. Lion-O, Pantro, Cheetarah, Tygra and Snarf each put on the rings which imbue them with the powers of earth, fire, wind, water and (wait for it) heart. As their powers combine, five mighty lion robots awaken– one deep below the Earth’s surface, one inside a volcano, one in a cloud or something… each of them representing a different element. With their mighty battle robot lions, the Thundercats, powered by the Planeteer rings, form ‘Captain Thunder Planet Voltron Cat Force’! Their battle cry is “Captain Thunder Planet Vultron Cats Force Gooooo!” That’ll make a billion dollars, easy. Oh, yeah casting! For heroic Lion-O it’s gotta be Tom Cruise. In the pilot episode of Captain Planet, he provided the voice of Captain, what’s his name, Planet. Vin Diesel would play the dark-skinned bald mechanic Pantro– he really wouldn’t need any make up. Tygra would be played best by Zac Effron, just to get the teenage girls (and forty year old men) to watch. As for Cheetarah, I would say Halle Barry except she botched up her Catwoman performance. I’m seriously considering taking her off the Christmas card list. So maybe Demi Moore as Cheetarah, even though she’s actually a cougar, or else RuPaul. For Snarf, that’s easy: Pauly Shore. No other choice. I’d write the screenplay contingent on his playing Snarf. Plus I owe him a favor. He scored me some blow one night that I made up.
‘The Smurfs’ is long overdue for a live action version. You know Will Farrell would sign up, since the entire film he’d be in nothing but a white diaper, white booties, a white hat and blue body paint. Farrell has a near-nudity clause in his contract– every film he does has to have him in an almost-nude scene. That’s why it’s tough for him to do serious dramas– his part in Apollo 13, for example, as the nearly-nude NASA rocket scientist nearly cost the movie it’s Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Luckily Jack Black’s cameo cinched it. Since Anna Nicole Smith is dead, Jessica Simpson would make a great Smurfette, also known as the village whore. Oh come on, she was the only chick! She smurfed everyone, except Vanity Smurf, but she even gave him hand-smurfs. Vanity and Brainy Smurf sure did spend a lot of time playing “Chess” together. I wonder how often Brainy captured the queen. So maybe in my movie I’ll work that angle, a little Smurfback Mountain. That would be smurftastic.
As long as I’m making blockbuster movies, I might as well throw a sequel into the mix. I’d wrote a screenplay for ‘Rocky VI: Adrian’s Revenge’. Yes, I know she died in a previous film, but that’s the gag– Rocky buries her on sacred Indian land and she rises from the dead. Now, Rocky must rescue her soul from hell while he trains zombie Adrian for a dead celebrity death match against two of the Golden Girls. In the big fight scene, zombie Estelle Getty and zombie Bea Arthur have zombie Adrian on the ropes. Rocky can’t watch, he can’t bear to see his wife’s zombified body take so much damage. Then, just when you think she’s down for the count, zombie Don Knotts comes to her rescue! They become tag-team dead celebrity death match champions! They get sponsorship deals with all sorts of satanic companies, like Mephisto Motor Corp., Devil-O's Cereal and Wal-Mart. Did I mention this would be a comedy directed by Ron Howard?
I’ve seen not less than eleventy-four films based on cartoons I grew up with. I’ll not mention the lousy ones, except to say that ‘TMNT’, a 2007 CG-remake of a live action 1990 film, was more gratuitous than Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan in a beaver-flashing contest. The first good cartoon-to-live-action remake was Scooby Doo, a clever take on the classic stoner show. Scooby is not technically from my childhood– the show originated decades earlier. After forty years, twelve television series and dozens of direct-to-video movies the franchise is still alive. Even though he has been collecting social security since the Reagan Administration, Casey Kasem still does Scooby’s voice. (I hope I didn’t jinx old Casey. I’d feel terrible if he died soon. I wouldn’t care if he died later, so long as it’s at least a few issues from now.)
Really the first good live action movie based on a cartoon from the eighties, other than ‘Masters of the Universe’, is ‘Transformers’. It opened the flood gates and lured so many pasty white boys to the theaters that a sequel was in production before filming ended. It only grossed $700 Million, a measly sum compared to it’s Hasbro toy line, the true origin of the franchise, which has earned eighty gajillion dollars since coming to the states from Japan in 1984.
The next Hasbro toy from the eighties to premier as a live action movie will be 'G. I. Joe'. I hope Samuel L. Jackson is in it and I hope he says, “I’m tired of these motherf!cking cobras on this motherf!cking tank!” Or jeep, or chopper or whatever vehicle they let him drive. Also, I hope they include Sgt. Slaughter and that Hulk Hogan body slams him in the big fight scene.
I’d like to make movies based on my favorite eighties cartoons. I’d make the coolest, most ‘BA' movie ever, because I’m so awesome and all. But audiences are jaded like me– again, because of the whole O.J. thing and 9/11. So another movie based on an eighties cartoon isn’t gonna wow anyone. I'll combine a few shows into one amalgamated movie.
I'd take the Thundercats. Remember, their planet is exploding (Superman, anyone?) so they have to escape on a spaceship to find a new planet. Let’s say they land on Earth, and discover a set of five rings, each with a different colored stone. Lion-O, Pantro, Cheetarah, Tygra and Snarf each put on the rings which imbue them with the powers of earth, fire, wind, water and (wait for it) heart. As their powers combine, five mighty lion robots awaken– one deep below the Earth’s surface, one inside a volcano, one in a cloud or something… each of them representing a different element. With their mighty battle robot lions, the Thundercats, powered by the Planeteer rings, form ‘Captain Thunder Planet Voltron Cat Force’! Their battle cry is “Captain Thunder Planet Vultron Cats Force Gooooo!” That’ll make a billion dollars, easy. Oh, yeah casting! For heroic Lion-O it’s gotta be Tom Cruise. In the pilot episode of Captain Planet, he provided the voice of Captain, what’s his name, Planet. Vin Diesel would play the dark-skinned bald mechanic Pantro– he really wouldn’t need any make up. Tygra would be played best by Zac Effron, just to get the teenage girls (and forty year old men) to watch. As for Cheetarah, I would say Halle Barry except she botched up her Catwoman performance. I’m seriously considering taking her off the Christmas card list. So maybe Demi Moore as Cheetarah, even though she’s actually a cougar, or else RuPaul. For Snarf, that’s easy: Pauly Shore. No other choice. I’d write the screenplay contingent on his playing Snarf. Plus I owe him a favor. He scored me some blow one night that I made up.
‘The Smurfs’ is long overdue for a live action version. You know Will Farrell would sign up, since the entire film he’d be in nothing but a white diaper, white booties, a white hat and blue body paint. Farrell has a near-nudity clause in his contract– every film he does has to have him in an almost-nude scene. That’s why it’s tough for him to do serious dramas– his part in Apollo 13, for example, as the nearly-nude NASA rocket scientist nearly cost the movie it’s Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Luckily Jack Black’s cameo cinched it. Since Anna Nicole Smith is dead, Jessica Simpson would make a great Smurfette, also known as the village whore. Oh come on, she was the only chick! She smurfed everyone, except Vanity Smurf, but she even gave him hand-smurfs. Vanity and Brainy Smurf sure did spend a lot of time playing “Chess” together. I wonder how often Brainy captured the queen. So maybe in my movie I’ll work that angle, a little Smurfback Mountain. That would be smurftastic.
As long as I’m making blockbuster movies, I might as well throw a sequel into the mix. I’d wrote a screenplay for ‘Rocky VI: Adrian’s Revenge’. Yes, I know she died in a previous film, but that’s the gag– Rocky buries her on sacred Indian land and she rises from the dead. Now, Rocky must rescue her soul from hell while he trains zombie Adrian for a dead celebrity death match against two of the Golden Girls. In the big fight scene, zombie Estelle Getty and zombie Bea Arthur have zombie Adrian on the ropes. Rocky can’t watch, he can’t bear to see his wife’s zombified body take so much damage. Then, just when you think she’s down for the count, zombie Don Knotts comes to her rescue! They become tag-team dead celebrity death match champions! They get sponsorship deals with all sorts of satanic companies, like Mephisto Motor Corp., Devil-O's Cereal and Wal-Mart. Did I mention this would be a comedy directed by Ron Howard?
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